2 posts tagged personal writ

I was thinking yesterday of how annoying it has become to fall into a stereotype lately - one of those “I need to lose weight by eating better and exercising more” people. It wasn’t hard to look around me and realize how easy my life is. I have everything i need in my home, and appearances can deceive even myself, believing that I am doing great and working hard.  But nothing is that hard. 

I have found myself in the trap of looking to the comforts and conveniences I have created and achieved as the indicators of who I am and how well I am doing.  In reality they are not. 

In my present life there are struggles with my job, to do better and earn more, which means continually learning new technology and pushing myself to form better work habits to move projects along better. Its always a challenge.

My son is growing as a hockey player and I have never taken the opportunity to develop my own abilities in the game i love most.  So we try to get up together at 6am to go to a free skate once a week. Not easy in -40 weather.

These are examples of where I really find my value. I am most proud of learning a new code trick to finish a website on time, or feeling invigorated by an early morning skate. I also score myself by my failures on the treadmill or volume of Dr.Pepper in my fridge, but perhaps fairly so.

Comfort and convenience are never the measure of ourselves, they are the enemy of a better self. Ironically what we work so hard to achieve actually poisons the skill which led us there - the ability to deal with challenges, to overcome adversity, to steady the ship.

Staying uncomfortable might be the means to staying in good form.  Plenty of sport analogies here; how many athletes do we see change their game once they achieve success?   A three goal lead is the most dangerous in hockey.

Staying uncomfortable may just be the only way to get to where I want in life.

I have always enjoyed and despised writing. For one, it makes my hand hurt; moreso since I broke my wrist snowboarding some years ago and have since discovered nerve damage, which is aggravated by the simple task of penmanship.

Still, on an emotional and intellectual level, writing has been at times the perfect drug of choice to appease my addiction of formulating ideas. (Argument being the other drug of course). Being enamoured by the power of words means that saying the right thing the right way becomes so alluring. It also becomes a burden. The faux-moral obligation of only writing a good, completed thought has robbed many inspirations, as I fail to begin for fear of not knowing the end. 

I wonder, is it still possible to capture complete and whole ideas when it is obvious they are incomplete? Or perhaps more true, that the writer is not complete in forming them?  I have a feeling there are good arguments for both sides here. 

I think it is going to be of necessity that I shun the possibilities of error and choose to write incomplete ideas. I’m old enough to have realized that most everything can change, especially an idea. And there is nothing here to be afraid of.

So… I have some ideas, and I am going to start writing them down.